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Qwyjibo Disestablishmentarianists (65-64, 12 GB)
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Owner
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John Hula / Email Team
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| Manager |
Bartholomew J. Simpson |
| Stadium |
The Android's Dungeon |
| Mascot |
Kang and Kodos |
| Team Motto / Rallying Cry / Fight Song / Favorite Overused Cliché |
we're talkin' softball |
| Cash Balance* |
612 |
| *In Thousands |
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Instant Messaging/Twitter: |
None listed
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Team History | | Franchise Record | 330-420 (.440) | Highest Finish: 3rd (2025, 2024, 2022, 2021) | | | Owner Record | 330-420 (.440) 5 years | Closest Finish 15 GB (2021) | | Most Wins | 76 (2025) | | | Most Losses | 97 (2023) | | Bottom Feeder Champ: 2025, 2022 |
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| Last Updated 8/26/2026 |
Player information semi-accurate as of 8/25/2026 |
Current Roster/Lineup
| Slot | Name | ML Team | Pos | Auth Pos | Salary | Status | Contract |
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| L4 | Christian Walker | Hou | 1B | 1B | 2971 | | 2027* | | M01 | Christian Encarnacion-Strand | Bal | | 1B, 3B | 184 | | | | B2 | Josh H. Smith | Tor | | 1B, 3B, SS, OF, 2B | 1349 | IL | | | B1 | Tyler Soderstrom | Ath | | 1B, OF | 2380 | IL | | | L5 | Ozzie Albies | Atl | 2B | 2B | 2597 | | 2027* | | pr | Chris Hacopian | Was | | 2B | 100 | m | | | M02 | Donnie Walton | Ath | | 2B, 3B | 100 | | | | L3 | Junior Caminero | TB | 3B | 3B | 3564 | | 2028 | | pr | Cam Collier | Cin | | 3B | 100 | m | | | B3 | Jordan Lawlar | Ari | | 3B, 2B, OF | 100 | | | | B5 | Patrick Bailey | Cle | | C | 1040 | | | | L8 | Nick Fortes | TB | C | C | 393 | | | | B6 | Austin Hedges | Cle | | C | 204 | | | | M09 | Harry Ford | Was | | C | 100 | | | | L9 | George Springer | Tor | OF | OF | 3268 | | | | L2 | Byron Buxton | Min | OF | OF | 2300 | | 2027 | | L7 | Lourdes Gurriel | Ari | OF | OF | 1771 | IL | | | M10 | Heston Kjerstad | Bal | | OF | 180 | m | | | M05 | Victor Mesa Jr. | TB | | OF | 100 | IL | | | M04 | Austin Martin | Min | | OF, 2B | 245 | IL | | | R1 | Aroldis Chapman | Bos | | RP | 5286 | | 2026 | | R6 | Adrian Morejon | SD | | RP | 1666 | | | | T5 | Camilo Doval | Pit | | RP | 1282 | | 2026 | | R5 | Kyle Finnegan | Det | | RP | 1017 | | | | R3 | Hogan Harris | Ath | | RP | 707 | | | | R2 | Andrew Kittredge | Bal | | RP | 699 | | | | T6 | Michael Kopech | FA | | RP | 544 | | | | R4 | Steven Cruz | KC | | RP | 301 | | | | S3 | Grant Taylor | CWS | | RP, SP | 269 | | | | M06 | Tejay Antone | Cin | | RP, x | 104 | | | | P4 | Carlos Rodon | NYY | | SP | 4090 | | | | P2 | Andrew Abbott | Cin | | SP | 3122 | | 2026 | | P1 | Jacob deGrom | Tex | | SP | 2860 | | 2027 | | T4 | Mitch Keller | Pit | | SP | 2580 | IL | | | S2 | Nick Lodolo | Cin | | SP | 2292 | | 2026 | | T1 | Luis Severino | Ath | | SP | 2037 | IL | | | T2 | Hunter Greene | Cin | | SP | 1966 | IL | | | P3 | Casey Mize | SD | | SP | 1749 | | 2027 | | P5 | Jared Jones | Pit | | SP | 303 | | | | S1 | Kumar Rocker | Tex | | SP | 261 | | | | M08 | Mick Abel | Min | | SP | 142 | IL | | | pr | Gio Rojas | Tex | | SP | 100 | m | | | M03 | Carson Whisenhunt | SF | | SP | 100 | IL | | | L6 | Dansby Swanson | ChC | SS | SS | 2968 | IL | | | pr | Wehiwa Aloy | Bal | | SS | 100 | m | | | pr | Arjun Nimmala | LAA | | SS | 100 | m | | | | Joey Ortiz | Mil | | SS, 3B | 1134 | | | | L1 | Colson Montgomery | CWS | DH | SS, 3B | 437 | | 2027* | | B4 | Colt Emerson | Sea | | SS, 3B | 100 | IL | |
*The salary for the current season for this player was paid in full. Cutting this player or trading this player away will earn the team a prorated salary rebate. If another team picks up this player in a trade, they will pay a prorated portion of this season's salary.
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Roster Limits
| Roster Minimums |
Roster Maximums |
| Category |
Current Value |
Category |
Current Value |
| Minimum Hitters (15) |
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Hitters over 250 (21) |
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| Minimum Pitchers (14) |
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Pitchers over 250 (20) |
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| Multiposition players - can fill hitter or pitcher role |
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Players over 250 (35) |
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Players in minor league (10) |
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Total 45-man Roster Size - minimum 29 - maximum
45 |
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| These players don't count against your 40-man limit |
| Players on IR (max 1): |
Prospects (max 5): |
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